and the wisdom to know the difference...

Things I can’t help.
I cant help it if from time to time I feel the need to yell profanities at unsuspecting strangers, from the safety of my speeding car. That when I pass Wood Ranch I drool profusely. That despite my efforts my midsection has a mind of its own and has a tendency to migrate outwards as opposed to being more like a 180 degree line I yearn for. However I am willing to accept these.

Things I can help.
Thankfully I have a filter that modifies most of my thoughts. I can also help my breath in the morning with the assistance of mouthwash/toothpaste. I’m also good at persuading you in the direction I think would most benefit me.

Things other people can’t help.
Other people can’t help pointing out when someone publicly “messes up.” Other people can’t help the overwhelming compulsion to steel animals on Saturday’s from Petsmart. Other people can’t help having just one Lays potato chip.

Things other people can help.
Other people can help NOT sharing pointless stories during class time, and for that matter in the check out line. Other people can also help not being obnoxious at all hours, but more importantly the hours I dedicate for sleeping. Last but not least others can help others by sticking together like a buddy system to insure the system has a strong firewall against nonsense.


Some confessions I need to get off my chest:
I can no longer fit into 12 of my 15 pairs of jeans. Leggings, Jeggings, and sweats sound like a feasible option, but shopping sounds better.
I am currently going through a “anything Mexican Goes” phase. Food, language, sipping tequila, summer vacation packages, and unfortunately getting hot sauce on every white shirt I own.
I am experiencing a lack of motivation towards school, in direct correlation with the amount of frustration I feel when my alarm goes off in the morning.
I am unfortunately familiar with the locations of non 24 hour food establishments.
Box wine is still somewhat of a mystery to me.
I am not ruling out being Natalie Portman’s birth coach.
I think that steeling an avocado should not be a felony. (in the state of California)
I’m not one for spending much time at a Jiffy Lube on a Saturday afternoon.
I need a pedicure.
I aspire to one day rent a Honda Odyssey while vacationing in Maine.
3 remotes for 1 machine pisses me off.
Febreze Thai Dragon Fruit smells like Heaven on Earth.
There is a strong possibility that I have reptilian DNA.
I don’t like that we are limited to mechanical livestock, and I am pushing for mechanical small desert animals.

So in summation I feel better, and to quote my soon to be good friend Tina “This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.”