Community College
It is a different atmosphere and for most of us who attend it a very small chapter in our lives. I have taken many classes at community college just to try out different things usually to find out Criminal Justice is not taught by police officers nor are there field trips to the station, Sociology is a slow form of suicide, and Psych classes are absolutely ridiculous. The content of a Psych class is up to par the way its taught is well rehearsed and relatable. Maybe a little to relatable which brings me to my next point. After sitting through roughly 20 units of Psychology classes I thought I had heard and seen enough. Fellow classmates discussing deep seeded personal problems that in some way always relate back to the topic. That is a disorder in it of itself. Going so far off the discussion with a personal disclaimer and making a 360 back to Schizophrenia. Things such as “well my cousins brothers sisters friends wife had identical boy girl twins.” or “when I was younger I played make believe a lot does that mean I have alters?” When something is medically impossible and stated with such confidence I love watching it unfold. If that idea is challenged by the professor the bold new age scientist immediately goes on the defense usually offering some type of absurd story which is drawn out and usually the script for a P.B.S. special. When question/statements are made like point number 2 it is always shot down before anything can really happen. Just once I wish a teacher would respond with something along the lines of “yes as a matter of fact you do have alters and you displayed very abnormal behavior when you were little talking to yourself and your toys.” What is more disturbing than the question is that people are serious when they ask it. Other statements that relate afterbirth to lasagna should result in being dropped from the class. With a clip of my first 2 years at community college you would think I had heard it all. False. A very different field that I clearly have overlooked until now is the field of Holistic Medicine. If you have not taken a course in it I highly recommend it. I have never been in a setting where so many individuals surrounding me had dreadlocks. I have never seen so many feathers coming out of heads, facial piercings, tattoos of trees, hemp shoes, and aloe water in my life. I kid you not I walked in and thought I had lice. Naturally I chose an isle seat next to the door just in case something flew out of my classmates rats nest and I needed to make a quick escape. This was nothing like I had ever experienced before, 99% of my classmates see legalizing marijuana as part of a soon to be hopeful daily ritual. Then there is me…..at this point I am fantasizing about drinking bleach and shaving my head. A fun activity that is well known is the survey paper. Teachers hand it out with usually 10 questions ranging from. Your name, anything special about you I should know about and what you hope to get out of the class. My paper went a little something like this.
(actual questions and responses)
Name: Alisa Morrison
Age: 21 (<finally)
Gender: Female
How healthy do you consider yourself? 1 not healthy 5 very healthy
3.5 I am battling a very compulsive and strong addiction to In n Out Burger. (and by battle I mean trying to decide between a double double and animal style.)
How could you improve your health?
Well after sitting in here for an hour and 15 minutes….a shower?
What do you hope to get out of this class?
A better understanding of both Western Medicine and Alternative Methods as applied to psychological/somatic issues.
What is a potential barrier that could keep you from that?
My classmates spreading the Plague.
Anything extra you think I should know about you?
Yes as a matter of fact there is. I am finding that I really enjoy your “NO CELL PHONE” sign when the building itself does not get service.
Some other things I learned about community college the word “crusty” can be applied outside Cafeteria, elevators are not a place to adjust undergarments, and students who ride their bikes to campus keep their pant leg rolled up.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, April 18, 2011
Californication
Californication as defined by Urban Dictionary # 9.-Embracing the superficial lifestyle Hollywood projects. Doing so often leads to valuing the fake, superfluous, and materialistic things in life over what is truly important. What every socialite in the City of Angels would have you believe is the one true way to live.
I have never introduced myself to another person and said I’m from SOCAL! (ever) I don’t think of going to the beach as a day trip, but more of another Tuesday afternoon. I am very familiar with songs such as, We got more bounce in California, and California Gurls. I know where every In n Out is between San Diego and Redding. I overuse the term “bitchin” on a semi regular basis. I abuse my sunroof and have probably laid the foundation for some pretty good chances of skin cancer. During the months of August through November I consider myself on “firewatch” however my definition of firewatch differs from the local news reporters.
Firewatch (Verb)- in a state of heightened awareness. Hunting or stalking firefighters in the Ventura County region. Used in a sentence below:
The very attractive and single ; ) young woman is never really off firewatch, and is willing to do multiple rounds of speed dating at the station.
Despite what many websites say Blue and Gold are not the official state colors, blue representing the sky and gold representing the Gold Rush. Bronze and Blonde are. In representation of people who have never actually traveled here. The state motto is “Eureka!” although I am willing to challenge that to “If you got it flaunt it.”
Actual laws in California:
Men who wear mustashes are forbidden from kissing women. (that’s just common courtesy.)
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. (It happens more than you think.)
Permanent markers may not be sold in the city limits. This one comes from Fresno, CA. Funny markers may not be sold, but meth may be and is cooked.
Public Restrooms must be supplied with toilet paper…….as opposed to?
I firmly believe no one should have to endure a California Burrito. This is a lethal combination of carne asada, sour cream, steak fries, and of course cheese. All stuffed into a tortilla. If the inside doesn’t already look like vom. You will want to when your trying to swallow. One should however partake in the In n Out phenomenon. Your trip, tour, visit, etc. is never complete without this fine food experience. Secret there is a hidden secret menu. Another secret California Pizza Kitchen not all its cracked up to be.
California attractions I tend to consider on a frequent basis:
Going to a nude resort in Palm Springs.
Playing hop scotch on the Golden Gate Bridge
Becoming one at the Monterey Bay Aquarium
Going to Napa and racing barrels
Going to Disneyland with the Octuplets
Doing an aerobics video on Muscle Beach in spanx so I give the illusion of a lean mean fighting machine.
I have never introduced myself to another person and said I’m from SOCAL! (ever) I don’t think of going to the beach as a day trip, but more of another Tuesday afternoon. I am very familiar with songs such as, We got more bounce in California, and California Gurls. I know where every In n Out is between San Diego and Redding. I overuse the term “bitchin” on a semi regular basis. I abuse my sunroof and have probably laid the foundation for some pretty good chances of skin cancer. During the months of August through November I consider myself on “firewatch” however my definition of firewatch differs from the local news reporters.
Firewatch (Verb)- in a state of heightened awareness. Hunting or stalking firefighters in the Ventura County region. Used in a sentence below:
The very attractive and single ; ) young woman is never really off firewatch, and is willing to do multiple rounds of speed dating at the station.
Despite what many websites say Blue and Gold are not the official state colors, blue representing the sky and gold representing the Gold Rush. Bronze and Blonde are. In representation of people who have never actually traveled here. The state motto is “Eureka!” although I am willing to challenge that to “If you got it flaunt it.”
Actual laws in California:
Men who wear mustashes are forbidden from kissing women. (that’s just common courtesy.)
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. (It happens more than you think.)
Permanent markers may not be sold in the city limits. This one comes from Fresno, CA. Funny markers may not be sold, but meth may be and is cooked.
Public Restrooms must be supplied with toilet paper…….as opposed to?
I firmly believe no one should have to endure a California Burrito. This is a lethal combination of carne asada, sour cream, steak fries, and of course cheese. All stuffed into a tortilla. If the inside doesn’t already look like vom. You will want to when your trying to swallow. One should however partake in the In n Out phenomenon. Your trip, tour, visit, etc. is never complete without this fine food experience. Secret there is a hidden secret menu. Another secret California Pizza Kitchen not all its cracked up to be.
California attractions I tend to consider on a frequent basis:
Going to a nude resort in Palm Springs.
Playing hop scotch on the Golden Gate Bridge
Becoming one at the Monterey Bay Aquarium
Going to Napa and racing barrels
Going to Disneyland with the Octuplets
Doing an aerobics video on Muscle Beach in spanx so I give the illusion of a lean mean fighting machine.
Monday, April 11, 2011
and the wisdom to know the difference...
Things I can’t help.
I cant help it if from time to time I feel the need to yell profanities at unsuspecting strangers, from the safety of my speeding car. That when I pass Wood Ranch I drool profusely. That despite my efforts my midsection has a mind of its own and has a tendency to migrate outwards as opposed to being more like a 180 degree line I yearn for. However I am willing to accept these.
Things I can help.
Thankfully I have a filter that modifies most of my thoughts. I can also help my breath in the morning with the assistance of mouthwash/toothpaste. I’m also good at persuading you in the direction I think would most benefit me.
Things other people can’t help.
Other people can’t help pointing out when someone publicly “messes up.” Other people can’t help the overwhelming compulsion to steel animals on Saturday’s from Petsmart. Other people can’t help having just one Lays potato chip.
Things other people can help.
Other people can help NOT sharing pointless stories during class time, and for that matter in the check out line. Other people can also help not being obnoxious at all hours, but more importantly the hours I dedicate for sleeping. Last but not least others can help others by sticking together like a buddy system to insure the system has a strong firewall against nonsense.
Some confessions I need to get off my chest:
I can no longer fit into 12 of my 15 pairs of jeans. Leggings, Jeggings, and sweats sound like a feasible option, but shopping sounds better.
I am currently going through a “anything Mexican Goes” phase. Food, language, sipping tequila, summer vacation packages, and unfortunately getting hot sauce on every white shirt I own.
I am experiencing a lack of motivation towards school, in direct correlation with the amount of frustration I feel when my alarm goes off in the morning.
I am unfortunately familiar with the locations of non 24 hour food establishments.
Box wine is still somewhat of a mystery to me.
I am not ruling out being Natalie Portman’s birth coach.
I think that steeling an avocado should not be a felony. (in the state of California)
I’m not one for spending much time at a Jiffy Lube on a Saturday afternoon.
I need a pedicure.
I aspire to one day rent a Honda Odyssey while vacationing in Maine.
3 remotes for 1 machine pisses me off.
Febreze Thai Dragon Fruit smells like Heaven on Earth.
There is a strong possibility that I have reptilian DNA.
I don’t like that we are limited to mechanical livestock, and I am pushing for mechanical small desert animals.
So in summation I feel better, and to quote my soon to be good friend Tina “This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.”
I cant help it if from time to time I feel the need to yell profanities at unsuspecting strangers, from the safety of my speeding car. That when I pass Wood Ranch I drool profusely. That despite my efforts my midsection has a mind of its own and has a tendency to migrate outwards as opposed to being more like a 180 degree line I yearn for. However I am willing to accept these.
Things I can help.
Thankfully I have a filter that modifies most of my thoughts. I can also help my breath in the morning with the assistance of mouthwash/toothpaste. I’m also good at persuading you in the direction I think would most benefit me.
Things other people can’t help.
Other people can’t help pointing out when someone publicly “messes up.” Other people can’t help the overwhelming compulsion to steel animals on Saturday’s from Petsmart. Other people can’t help having just one Lays potato chip.
Things other people can help.
Other people can help NOT sharing pointless stories during class time, and for that matter in the check out line. Other people can also help not being obnoxious at all hours, but more importantly the hours I dedicate for sleeping. Last but not least others can help others by sticking together like a buddy system to insure the system has a strong firewall against nonsense.
Some confessions I need to get off my chest:
I can no longer fit into 12 of my 15 pairs of jeans. Leggings, Jeggings, and sweats sound like a feasible option, but shopping sounds better.
I am currently going through a “anything Mexican Goes” phase. Food, language, sipping tequila, summer vacation packages, and unfortunately getting hot sauce on every white shirt I own.
I am experiencing a lack of motivation towards school, in direct correlation with the amount of frustration I feel when my alarm goes off in the morning.
I am unfortunately familiar with the locations of non 24 hour food establishments.
Box wine is still somewhat of a mystery to me.
I am not ruling out being Natalie Portman’s birth coach.
I think that steeling an avocado should not be a felony. (in the state of California)
I’m not one for spending much time at a Jiffy Lube on a Saturday afternoon.
I need a pedicure.
I aspire to one day rent a Honda Odyssey while vacationing in Maine.
3 remotes for 1 machine pisses me off.
Febreze Thai Dragon Fruit smells like Heaven on Earth.
There is a strong possibility that I have reptilian DNA.
I don’t like that we are limited to mechanical livestock, and I am pushing for mechanical small desert animals.
So in summation I feel better, and to quote my soon to be good friend Tina “This made no sense to me, probably because I speak English and have never had a head injury.”
Sunday, April 3, 2011
You know you spend to much time in Oxnard when......
1.)¾ of the Ralphs parking lot is closed off for a hydraulics car show complete with astroturf and trophies.
2.)The characters who stand on the corner and sell the Ventura County star are actual characters…….(never the same costumes)
3.) The Alberstons shopping center on North Ventura Road has fully supplied you with enough business cards for dent repair, radio stations, and pet grooming services.
4.) More energy went into making the intricate shelving inside the rug van on the corner of Gonzales and Victoria than the actual rugs themselves.
5.) You have personally been let down more than once by O.P.D.
6.) You spend more time on the cross roads near Rose Avenue than any other roads.
7.) The Esplenade Target wreaks so bad of popcorn that when you get in your car, you too smell like popcorn.
8.) You have driven through Colonia (daytime) just to “check things out.”
9.) You have seen entire families eating lunch at Costco.
10.) Every bus stop has a gang name scratched into the bench.
11.) No doubt 3 immediate street names come to mind when lookin to “score.”
12.) The Saviors Road Urgent Care is so outrageous that people get sick by just waiting.
13.) The side streets by Oxnard College all poop you out in different directions.
14.) You need a 4 wheel drive vehicle to make it through Victoria after a moderate rain.
15.) There is a constant stream of Road Work which are ironically plagued with “Share the Road” signs.
16.) Every street name is either a letter, number, or a flower.
17.) Park BBQ’s are family reunions.
18.) Q Club is where you go to watch a fight...or to get into one.
19.) You have waited more than 45 minutes more than once to eat at BJ’s.
20.) You drive to Ventura/Camarillo to “get out of town”
21.) The Walgreens on Vineyard and Oxnard is one of the most diverse businesses since the DMV.
22.) The Strawberry/Salsa festivals are so densely populated that there is an actual need for a constant bus service to and from the parking lot.
23.) Pacifica High School looks more like a college than a high school.
24.) Nobody realized how much Rice Avenue was actually used until it was closed.
25.) Wal-Mart and Sam’s in the same shopping center = disaster.
26.) Before you venture outside, you know when the fields have been fertilized.
27.) Driving on Harbor right after the Ventura River makes your eyes water.
28.) The only actual place you can shop at in the Seabirdge Shopping Center is Vons.
29.) The New Toppers trumps all other Toppers ever built.
30.) Chic Fa La is worth sitting through 4 light rotations.
31.) St. Johns gift shop sold Horchata in Pink and Blue baby bottles.
32.) The purple candles with Jesus/Mary decals are always sold out. (only the purple ones)
33.) Wagon Wheel looks like a meth lab explosion.
34.) Olive Garden endless salad and breadsticks is why there is always a 20+minute wait.
35.) You have gotten more fresh produce from the side of the road over any grocery store.
2.)The characters who stand on the corner and sell the Ventura County star are actual characters…….(never the same costumes)
3.) The Alberstons shopping center on North Ventura Road has fully supplied you with enough business cards for dent repair, radio stations, and pet grooming services.
4.) More energy went into making the intricate shelving inside the rug van on the corner of Gonzales and Victoria than the actual rugs themselves.
5.) You have personally been let down more than once by O.P.D.
6.) You spend more time on the cross roads near Rose Avenue than any other roads.
7.) The Esplenade Target wreaks so bad of popcorn that when you get in your car, you too smell like popcorn.
8.) You have driven through Colonia (daytime) just to “check things out.”
9.) You have seen entire families eating lunch at Costco.
10.) Every bus stop has a gang name scratched into the bench.
11.) No doubt 3 immediate street names come to mind when lookin to “score.”
12.) The Saviors Road Urgent Care is so outrageous that people get sick by just waiting.
13.) The side streets by Oxnard College all poop you out in different directions.
14.) You need a 4 wheel drive vehicle to make it through Victoria after a moderate rain.
15.) There is a constant stream of Road Work which are ironically plagued with “Share the Road” signs.
16.) Every street name is either a letter, number, or a flower.
17.) Park BBQ’s are family reunions.
18.) Q Club is where you go to watch a fight...or to get into one.
19.) You have waited more than 45 minutes more than once to eat at BJ’s.
20.) You drive to Ventura/Camarillo to “get out of town”
21.) The Walgreens on Vineyard and Oxnard is one of the most diverse businesses since the DMV.
22.) The Strawberry/Salsa festivals are so densely populated that there is an actual need for a constant bus service to and from the parking lot.
23.) Pacifica High School looks more like a college than a high school.
24.) Nobody realized how much Rice Avenue was actually used until it was closed.
25.) Wal-Mart and Sam’s in the same shopping center = disaster.
26.) Before you venture outside, you know when the fields have been fertilized.
27.) Driving on Harbor right after the Ventura River makes your eyes water.
28.) The only actual place you can shop at in the Seabirdge Shopping Center is Vons.
29.) The New Toppers trumps all other Toppers ever built.
30.) Chic Fa La is worth sitting through 4 light rotations.
31.) St. Johns gift shop sold Horchata in Pink and Blue baby bottles.
32.) The purple candles with Jesus/Mary decals are always sold out. (only the purple ones)
33.) Wagon Wheel looks like a meth lab explosion.
34.) Olive Garden endless salad and breadsticks is why there is always a 20+minute wait.
35.) You have gotten more fresh produce from the side of the road over any grocery store.
Monday, March 7, 2011
"I grew up in this Costco"-water/eggs
I love going grocery shopping (clearly) Part of my past job was almost a kind of personal shopper. When I pictured a “personal shopper” I thought of someone super famous being so busy that they need to hire someone to pick out stuff that they think they would like, which I always thought was kinda stupid because 95% of it gets returned? Hellooooo online shopping!! I like to shop, but I have to be in the mood (clothes) food…..I’m pretty much always in the mood for that. I have 2 grocery stores within walking distance from my house, which I usually drive to. Its not the getting there part worries me about it’s the walking back with heavy donkey packed arms that I worry about. I never really understood those generic phrases before, about everyday things, like literally hitting every red light, takes one to know one, etc. Now I know why people say it because it happens all the time and I find myself using those phrases on a frequent basis. Its part of that “adult” life that everyone seems to be in such a hurry to get to. I can walk into any store and leave with 8 things…..none of which I came in for. I don’t even have an excuse as to how I forgot to get it either. No kids, no important phone call during the time of the crime, and generally not out of stock. I am just that much of a grade A mess. (like the eggs I just purchased) I like to scope people out at the grocery store too, (could contribute to part of my purchasing amnesia) For instance if there is a really cute guy, I’m not saying I will follow him to scope out what’s in his basket (guys never seem to push carts), however I’m also not prepared to say I wont. Then by chance he notices I’m (stocking pun intended) him we will have a flirtatious conversation surrounding our love for pb’j and mac n cheese, and live happily ever after. Everyone will ask us how we met and we can both tilt our heads up and back laughing about our carb craving frenzy turned into a life time of bliss. (it can happen!)
A crowd favorite “are you finding everything ok?” usually by asked by someone who’s eyes say “my parents made me get a job.” As I meander through all the isles slowly (unless it’s the feminine care isle in which case I book it through already knowing the exact shelf level and location of my box of tricks) I recently got over the phase of shoving them to the bottom of my cart only to be hidden by whatever Pillsburry 2 for $5.00 baked goods were on sale that week. On that note I can confidently say that I have never looked at anything “healthy” and thought to myself “oh hey what a good deal.” Its always the stuff that’s bad for you that is constantly on sale, that I exercise a somewhat heroic amount of willpower over buying. Only to walk in next time and see the same ol’ sutff on sale yet again. Now I don’t want to put Vons or Paulette down, but what’s with the Hello my name is Paulette since 1978 BS? I just feel bad for her, like really Paulette its 2011 is Vons really worth it? I can’t even imagine loving Vons that much…….That’s a solid 33 year dedication right there. (Paulette if your reading this YOU GO GURRLLLFRIEND!)Then there is the whole self check out mystery for some. Its just not a good situation. The lady trapped inside the scanner who is constantly yelling at you (probably pissed at Paulette for beating her to the 30 yr mark) “WELCOME PLEASE SCAN YOUR FIRST ITEM!!!!!” I always yell back at her. Which causes somewhat of a scene, and the whole “HAVE YOU SCANED YOUR REWARDS CARD YET?!?!?!” It’s dangerous grounds especially for a rookie. If I have a load then I will go so no doubt a heavy breather can stand 2 inches behind me as I unload my cart onto the belt. Where Prozac Mark can ask me if I “found everything I was looking for mam”….Uhm yes I found everything except a short cut so I don’t have to put up with you and your questions that end in a higher decimal than my loudest scream is how I would like to respond. However I just stick with the “yes I did thank you” straight forward to the point. “Would you like help out today” is the next bullet I try to dodge, (it is a nice offer, but I’ve already come this far)which is usually asked by a Katie type. (would be cute if she washed off the 3 lbs of eye-liner, blush, and ditched the chipped deep purple/blue nail polish and spit out the wad of gum distorting her left cheek.) Please define the help you can offer me today…….How about how can I help you? Get in my trunk no questions asked and I’ll take you to the nearest bus stop so you can get outta town.
(I don’t really hate Vons that much, or Paulette…..Katie if your out there I can help)
A crowd favorite “are you finding everything ok?” usually by asked by someone who’s eyes say “my parents made me get a job.” As I meander through all the isles slowly (unless it’s the feminine care isle in which case I book it through already knowing the exact shelf level and location of my box of tricks) I recently got over the phase of shoving them to the bottom of my cart only to be hidden by whatever Pillsburry 2 for $5.00 baked goods were on sale that week. On that note I can confidently say that I have never looked at anything “healthy” and thought to myself “oh hey what a good deal.” Its always the stuff that’s bad for you that is constantly on sale, that I exercise a somewhat heroic amount of willpower over buying. Only to walk in next time and see the same ol’ sutff on sale yet again. Now I don’t want to put Vons or Paulette down, but what’s with the Hello my name is Paulette since 1978 BS? I just feel bad for her, like really Paulette its 2011 is Vons really worth it? I can’t even imagine loving Vons that much…….That’s a solid 33 year dedication right there. (Paulette if your reading this YOU GO GURRLLLFRIEND!)Then there is the whole self check out mystery for some. Its just not a good situation. The lady trapped inside the scanner who is constantly yelling at you (probably pissed at Paulette for beating her to the 30 yr mark) “WELCOME PLEASE SCAN YOUR FIRST ITEM!!!!!” I always yell back at her. Which causes somewhat of a scene, and the whole “HAVE YOU SCANED YOUR REWARDS CARD YET?!?!?!” It’s dangerous grounds especially for a rookie. If I have a load then I will go so no doubt a heavy breather can stand 2 inches behind me as I unload my cart onto the belt. Where Prozac Mark can ask me if I “found everything I was looking for mam”….Uhm yes I found everything except a short cut so I don’t have to put up with you and your questions that end in a higher decimal than my loudest scream is how I would like to respond. However I just stick with the “yes I did thank you” straight forward to the point. “Would you like help out today” is the next bullet I try to dodge, (it is a nice offer, but I’ve already come this far)which is usually asked by a Katie type. (would be cute if she washed off the 3 lbs of eye-liner, blush, and ditched the chipped deep purple/blue nail polish and spit out the wad of gum distorting her left cheek.) Please define the help you can offer me today…….How about how can I help you? Get in my trunk no questions asked and I’ll take you to the nearest bus stop so you can get outta town.
(I don’t really hate Vons that much, or Paulette…..Katie if your out there I can help)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I love you...
What does that even mean now? I love you……its so over used and messed up. When someone tells me they love me. it’s a very complex situation. What tone did they say it in? Who is saying it? Do I love them (yes/no)? If I do love them do I confess it right there too? If I don’t love them back…….I tell them that? (just my fleeting first thoughts) If its someone that I deem a creep, I have no issue just letting them have it, and laying it to them straight “thank you I’m flattered, I just don’t feel the same way” if its someone I fear is a suicide risk and have invested a lot towards me and worships the ground I walk on I try and let them down a little nicer “awee thank you (when someone says “thank you” after you tell them that you love them…..its not a good sign)…….I am working on that one. I want to be nice and I know the pain that follows when someone doesn’t feel that same way about you, but I don’t want to lead them on at the same time. (A little to fresh to rehash.) I don’t tell people I love them unless I love them (clearly) or love something they are doing or just did. Hi I’m Alisa I don’t love you just the activity you are doing? See messy subject. Then there is the whole love language. Love. L-O-V-E (love in between the lines) Luv (pretty sure this is the pussy way of saying I love you.) I have used this before (I’ll admit it) when I really like the person, but its “to soon” to admit hey I want to marry you! Then we digress into symbols <3= love, </3 = broken heart, X’s and O’s for hugs and kisses. Throwin up the heart sign when connecting finger tips and thumbs (both hands necessary) and btw this really annoys me. The half a heart bulls**t! where im supposed to connect my one hand with yours, to show that you complete my heart……..if I had half a heart I would either be on a transplant waiting list, being a guinea pig waiting for an animal donor, or dead. I get the symbolic niceness of it, but please……I complete myself. Someone else (complete of course) can interact with me, maybe even sexually? (< did just happen) but none of this love lingo BS. You either say it and stand by it “I LOVE YOU “strong and loud. Or not at all. It means way more when you believe it, not just saying it because someone said it to you, and it’s the “right thing” to say back. Before I say it to someone I think about the times I have heard it said to me inauthentic usually a good gage.
I recently was on the phone with someone and for those of you who don’t know I might have a slight issue staying focused…..I could just be the poster child (young adult) for ADHD, ADD, METH, etc. I was on a somewhat important phone call, and I overheard a mother talking to her daughter closing the conversation with “aright honey I love you and miss you, can’t wait to see you” (aweee I know) well I was also wrapping up my call (with someone of superior position to me) and my “I look forward to working with you” somehow turned into “I look forward to I miss you cant wait to see you I love you”………silence on the other end. Silence and then click there was no time to retract the statement. I sat there in shock, how do I even go about fixing that one? “No I didn’t mean that? I don’t love you, I uhhh mean I’m sure you’re a loveable person, uhhhhh” No that is a painful conversation in it of itself. How about when someone likes you, and then does that stalker thing……I know you know what I’m talking about…….the absolute need to greet you, help you out at work, or school, wherever it is interaction is necessary. When the other party displays signs of collecting evidence for shrine construction Ohh yeaa it happens. Its complicated to drop them, because they are friends of a friend, or at school/work and you don’t want to make it awkward (well more awkward). I have gone to extremes in this area…….I once got on all 4’s under a table hiding from someone. (he saw me and I looked like a crazy gurlll) but I view it as a learning experience. I learned I make a mean coffee table and rocks don’t belong in knee caps.
Ok things I love:
My fluffs
My family
My friends
My car
In n Out
Rain
Beach action
Spontaneity
Bundt Cakes
Christmas
Tina Fey
Laughing so hard it hurts
The smell of Clorox wipes
I recently was on the phone with someone and for those of you who don’t know I might have a slight issue staying focused…..I could just be the poster child (young adult) for ADHD, ADD, METH, etc. I was on a somewhat important phone call, and I overheard a mother talking to her daughter closing the conversation with “aright honey I love you and miss you, can’t wait to see you” (aweee I know) well I was also wrapping up my call (with someone of superior position to me) and my “I look forward to working with you” somehow turned into “I look forward to I miss you cant wait to see you I love you”………silence on the other end. Silence and then click there was no time to retract the statement. I sat there in shock, how do I even go about fixing that one? “No I didn’t mean that? I don’t love you, I uhhh mean I’m sure you’re a loveable person, uhhhhh” No that is a painful conversation in it of itself. How about when someone likes you, and then does that stalker thing……I know you know what I’m talking about…….the absolute need to greet you, help you out at work, or school, wherever it is interaction is necessary. When the other party displays signs of collecting evidence for shrine construction Ohh yeaa it happens. Its complicated to drop them, because they are friends of a friend, or at school/work and you don’t want to make it awkward (well more awkward). I have gone to extremes in this area…….I once got on all 4’s under a table hiding from someone. (he saw me and I looked like a crazy gurlll) but I view it as a learning experience. I learned I make a mean coffee table and rocks don’t belong in knee caps.
Ok things I love:
My fluffs
My family
My friends
My car
In n Out
Rain
Beach action
Spontaneity
Bundt Cakes
Christmas
Tina Fey
Laughing so hard it hurts
The smell of Clorox wipes
Dedicated to Ciera and Megan my long distance LOVErs
Friday, January 14, 2011
Spring has Sprung or the semester at least
Something’s I feel need to be addressed. There is a I’m going to call it epidemic of rave attire, behavior, lingo, accessories etc. My personal opinion is that you look like what my grandmother would label as a “delinquent” and I’m sure your parents recognize it as a “phase” and all the “cool kids are doing it”, but enough is enough shoe laces are not belts, rainbow hair is not a REAL hair color, and I know for a fact that you can not eat the “candy” bracelets. I could go on, but since I find myself surrounded by this epidemic I don’t want to be jumped on Tuesday. I feel completely comfortable acknowledging the next topic……and that is my classmates. I enjoy observing all of you, however that is a large task, so it will take me a while to analyze all of you. The ones I have observed so far……it doesn’t look to good for our generation. I would like to take this time to recognize the group of self called “Religious Mimes”…..please explain to me what it is exactly that you act out? The Virgin Mary? Nativity Scenes? Bible Studies? Church camp? The Pope that must be a crowd pleaser…
Now I have already experienced this, but I was much more how should I say it supported in my misery. Freshman year of high school I sat in front of a kid who had Tourettes, now being that we were all 14 and might I just add what a fun time that was, I felt comfortable sharing confused and uncomfortable eye contact with all of my classmates. This time its different I don’t speak to anyone in this class not because I don’t want to believe me I need someone to share these moments with, but because my new classmates are drawing on each others eyebrows (might I suggest either black/brown or brown for a more natural drawn on look?) incessantly clicking pens, flinging ear wax, chipping nail polish, or speaking their native tongue in the back so I find myself alone. I’ll admit it I struggle in this subject a little, ok a lot, which is why I need to pay attention and attend class on a regular basis. I mean this with kindness and I am willing to work with you on maybe like a schedule type of basis or I can skype you into class whatever works best. The seal noises need to end not a little bit, not toned down, I need complete silence from your general corner in order to pass this class. I haven’t researched Tourettes so I’m not sure if you like the sound of seals, seals in general, or the sound your barking echoing in the lecture hall. Now you guys can call me a meanie or whatever, but your not in the class, so you don’t know therefore your opinion does not count. I understand not having control over something and being embarrassed about it. So we need to work out an agreement.
The parking situation the absurd trek I was forced to embark on the dehydration and charlie horse shooting through my left leg is exactly how I like to spend my Thursday mid morning. As for my professors I think we can be friends and I am willing to have a meet n greet BBQ when the weather cooperates, so if any of you know how to barbeque let me know. I’ll supply the meat? Ty if you are reading this. Rehash your trash……not the best for the 2nd day impression. Some of my favorite quotes so far are “you are all big bags of organs” “I’d mark my territory by peeing all over this door” I get the bag of organs reference, I can get past that, personally I like to think of myself as a bag of raw tissues? Uhhhh. The peeing all over this door to mark territory, so is that why the room has that “smell?” or because you teach anatomy or the lack of air flow in the room and over flow of warm bodies? I guess it could be worse. I could be attending Frayser High School. Helloooo Memphis’s Frayser High I was unaware that you guys were solely funding Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, Maury, I didn’t know I was pregnant, Pregnant & Peril, well that gets me off the hook this semester. Ahh I can breathe easy now. I’ll just stick with Lock Up Raw San Quentin edition!
Now I have already experienced this, but I was much more how should I say it supported in my misery. Freshman year of high school I sat in front of a kid who had Tourettes, now being that we were all 14 and might I just add what a fun time that was, I felt comfortable sharing confused and uncomfortable eye contact with all of my classmates. This time its different I don’t speak to anyone in this class not because I don’t want to believe me I need someone to share these moments with, but because my new classmates are drawing on each others eyebrows (might I suggest either black/brown or brown for a more natural drawn on look?) incessantly clicking pens, flinging ear wax, chipping nail polish, or speaking their native tongue in the back so I find myself alone. I’ll admit it I struggle in this subject a little, ok a lot, which is why I need to pay attention and attend class on a regular basis. I mean this with kindness and I am willing to work with you on maybe like a schedule type of basis or I can skype you into class whatever works best. The seal noises need to end not a little bit, not toned down, I need complete silence from your general corner in order to pass this class. I haven’t researched Tourettes so I’m not sure if you like the sound of seals, seals in general, or the sound your barking echoing in the lecture hall. Now you guys can call me a meanie or whatever, but your not in the class, so you don’t know therefore your opinion does not count. I understand not having control over something and being embarrassed about it. So we need to work out an agreement.
The parking situation the absurd trek I was forced to embark on the dehydration and charlie horse shooting through my left leg is exactly how I like to spend my Thursday mid morning. As for my professors I think we can be friends and I am willing to have a meet n greet BBQ when the weather cooperates, so if any of you know how to barbeque let me know. I’ll supply the meat? Ty if you are reading this. Rehash your trash……not the best for the 2nd day impression. Some of my favorite quotes so far are “you are all big bags of organs” “I’d mark my territory by peeing all over this door” I get the bag of organs reference, I can get past that, personally I like to think of myself as a bag of raw tissues? Uhhhh. The peeing all over this door to mark territory, so is that why the room has that “smell?” or because you teach anatomy or the lack of air flow in the room and over flow of warm bodies? I guess it could be worse. I could be attending Frayser High School. Helloooo Memphis’s Frayser High I was unaware that you guys were solely funding Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, Maury, I didn’t know I was pregnant, Pregnant & Peril, well that gets me off the hook this semester. Ahh I can breathe easy now. I’ll just stick with Lock Up Raw San Quentin edition!
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