You know you spend to much time in Oxnard when......

1.)¾ of the Ralphs parking lot is closed off for a hydraulics car show complete with astroturf and trophies.
2.)The characters who stand on the corner and sell the Ventura County star are actual characters…….(never the same costumes)
3.) The Alberstons shopping center on North Ventura Road has fully supplied you with enough business cards for dent repair, radio stations, and pet grooming services.
4.) More energy went into making the intricate shelving inside the rug van on the corner of Gonzales and Victoria than the actual rugs themselves.
5.) You have personally been let down more than once by O.P.D.
6.) You spend more time on the cross roads near Rose Avenue than any other roads.
7.) The Esplenade Target wreaks so bad of popcorn that when you get in your car, you too smell like popcorn.
8.) You have driven through Colonia (daytime) just to “check things out.”
9.) You have seen entire families eating lunch at Costco.
10.) Every bus stop has a gang name scratched into the bench.
11.) No doubt 3 immediate street names come to mind when lookin to “score.”
12.) The Saviors Road Urgent Care is so outrageous that people get sick by just waiting.
13.) The side streets by Oxnard College all poop you out in different directions.
14.) You need a 4 wheel drive vehicle to make it through Victoria after a moderate rain.
15.) There is a constant stream of Road Work which are ironically plagued with “Share the Road” signs.
16.) Every street name is either a letter, number, or a flower.
17.) Park BBQ’s are family reunions.
18.) Q Club is where you go to watch a fight...or to get into one.
19.) You have waited more than 45 minutes more than once to eat at BJ’s.
20.) You drive to Ventura/Camarillo to “get out of town”
21.) The Walgreens on Vineyard and Oxnard is one of the most diverse businesses since the DMV.
22.) The Strawberry/Salsa festivals are so densely populated that there is an actual need for a constant bus service to and from the parking lot.
23.) Pacifica High School looks more like a college than a high school.
24.) Nobody realized how much Rice Avenue was actually used until it was closed.
25.) Wal-Mart and Sam’s in the same shopping center = disaster.
26.) Before you venture outside, you know when the fields have been fertilized.
27.) Driving on Harbor right after the Ventura River makes your eyes water.
28.) The only actual place you can shop at in the Seabirdge Shopping Center is Vons.
29.) The New Toppers trumps all other Toppers ever built.
30.) Chic Fa La is worth sitting through 4 light rotations.
31.) St. Johns gift shop sold Horchata in Pink and Blue baby bottles.
32.) The purple candles with Jesus/Mary decals are always sold out. (only the purple ones)
33.) Wagon Wheel looks like a meth lab explosion.
34.) Olive Garden endless salad and breadsticks is why there is always a 20+minute wait.
35.) You have gotten more fresh produce from the side of the road over any grocery store.